Hectic Life

Been posting a lot lately and it actually feelings pretty good!! So many things are happening in my life right now and I can just say that it is quite hectic, to say the least. I am applying for my first college this thursday which is insane!! I cannot believe this is actually happening. I wrote my essay on climbing, obviously because it is the most important thing in my life. I wish I had more words than 500 because I could talk about climbing for days. But my essay is almost done and now I am waiting on my recommendations and then it'll be done!! Hell yeah!! So that's going on. Then i have a comp coming this saturday. It is taking place here which is exciting! The route-setters (Bryan Rafferty, Mike Veazey) are amazing and I cannot wait to see the amazing routes they put up. I have been training super hard and I am really excited to see what my training has done for my skills. Let's hope everything goes well! Well, even though, my life is beyond crazy right now with everyone going on. I am still very happy!! Obviously every once in a while, I'll get those moments of sheer panic but I remind myself to breath and everything falls back into place. My love-life is non existent but I have no worries about that anymore. Sure, I like someone but life happens and eventually things will fall into place. Well, Wish me luck with my comp!! And I will post results later! Thanks!

Nothing's Going To Bring Me Down

So, as many people know, I was not doing so "hot" last week. In fact, I was kind of depressed. I can look back on how I was and realize that I was sad and I was rightly sad. I was not feeling to great about myself and I had some low self-eestem problems going on. But I can, honestly, say now that I am doing amazing. It is weird how I can change so radically in such a short amount of time. But this weekend I figured out what I want. I am not going to go and say what I want because I do not believe it needs to be common knowledge but just know, that I have "found" myself this weekend. I went to Bioneers by the Bay in New Bedford this weekend, an environmental conference. I was able to get away from school and accurately see what was making me sad and I was able to give myself some steps to overcome this. I heard some speakers who spoke to me and I could listen to their words and apply them to what was going on in my life. For example, one lady talked about the fact that if someone were to cut the stems of pretty flowers and try to plant them in my pot, they are going to die. I should not be trying to be other people or I should not be jealous of people. I have my own "flower". I do not know what it's going to look like when it grows fully but I know it is my flower and I have to water it and care for it and not worry about other peoples flowers. It was amazing to be able to finally figure out what was making me upset and figure out how to make myself feel better. So, I am now doing great and I feel amazing!! Nothing is going to bring me down.

Don't expect a climbing post

This post is not really about climbing at all but I needed some place to put down what I'm feeling and that was the whole reason I made a blog in the first place. Well... There is a girl in my life right now. She doesn't know it but She means the world to me and If i could, I would talk to her every second of every day but I know that she doesn't want that. And I always want to message her but I am afraid I am going to annoy her and make her hate me and her hating me would probably be one of the worst feelings in the world. So I am stuck with this dilemma, message her and hope she doesn't mind it or don't message her, not even risk the chance of annoying her but not be able to talk to her which is also horrible. I just don't know what to do. I am not looking for answers and I am not expecting pity. I am only expressing my thoughts into words because it helps when I do that. I hope she knows how much she means to me but if she doesn't, there is not much I can do... I will not go into more detail about this girl in fear of giving away her identity and embarrassing her (because who would want to be associated with me right?) That's the low self-eestem talking, not me... Well not much more to say on the subject, I just needed to tell someone and my blog is a great place for that! I really hope it works out with her in the future. She means everything to me right now and every minute I'm not with her just drains me of energy. I've tried to get over her too but without any luck! I'm crazy about this girl and there is nothing more to be done about it.

Rock Climbing In Acadia

Here is a video of my time with my friends in Acadia pulling hard on some amazing sea-polished rocks!!! Had a blast and the video shows the amazing time we had! Check it out!

Not About How Hard You Can Hit

So, I am sitting here, watching a documentary with some freshman during my free block and I realize it is about time I update my blog. Well, for those of you, who have been on the edge of their seat wondering whether or not I got my motivation back, I actually have!! It did not take too long but it was certainly tough. I talked to my old coach, Vasya, and he gave me some advice which I took to heart. Just have fun with what you are doing and work your ass off. Success will follow. I was super excited to see that he mentioned Josh Larson, being the UBC pro tour champion. It gave me the motivation I needed to get back in the gym and crush!!! Thanks for everyone who has helped me through this. There will always be something in my way and an objective I need to get through. But i need to remember that I will always get through it and I will always keep going foreword. "It's not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving foreword"

Loss of Motivation

It seems as though I have lost my motivation for the sport that I love more than anything in the world. I, honestly, never thought this would happen to me. I am not saying that I don't enjoy climbing or that the thought of doing it is repulsive to me but I just cant get excited about training or anything like that. I am trying to get motivated by watching climbing videos or competing against other people but nothing seems to work at all! I am hoping to climb hard and train hard but it is hard to find the motivation to do it. I guess i just got to keep going strong and try my best!

My Birthday

So it was my birthday yesterday and I had a pretty good day! I got to go to ice cream with my favorite people here at school and had a delicious coffee in the am and hung out with some amazing people! I am super excited for this weekend as I am going to my friends house to hang with him. I get to go climbing today, well indoor climbing so it doesn't really count but I am still excited. I get to hang out with my buddies while working up a sweat at the same time. It is hard to find many things to beat that!!! :) I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday its because of all of you I get to turn another year older. WTF Im 18!! That shit is crazy, i don't think Im ready to be an adult! But then again i'm not sure if anyone is ready! Well, i guess only time with tell if I am ready or not. Until then, I'm going to proceed living my life to the best of my ability and enjoy being a kid while I still can!